She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
