he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
