Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
