i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
