dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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