went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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