whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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