let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
