If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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