I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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