i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
