I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
