I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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