I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
