I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
