I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize