Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
