Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
