Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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