you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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