Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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