TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
