when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
