Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just threw up on my dentist
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
