Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
