So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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