I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
