perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
