The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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