I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
