my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You dont lie about slip and slides
He better not be in your backpack
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
