Your mouth is God's brothel.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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