No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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