she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
