so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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