he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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