Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
