; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize