so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
