Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
