my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
