I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Alive.
So much puke
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
