Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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