Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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