the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
