god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize