Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
