I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
