you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I need moral support for this bender
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
