yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
