We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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