she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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