All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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