Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
