I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
