I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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