i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize