Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
