I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
