I wish I could punch you in the face.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
