A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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