literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
