omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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