i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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