Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
