If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
