White coat. Heels.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
