I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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