So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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