god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
