I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
